What?! - I mean, is she pissed off at me, does she feel I should suffer more (as if!), did I wink at her husband again? (I have Tourette's Syndrome. Please see future post, Tics, Clicks and My Inability to Retain What You Just Said.)
No. She meant it. And positively.
The theory goes: if I can just readjust my habitual look through my own life's prism, shift just a tad over from the dread view to the view of anticipating the best, or even just something good, out of a possible situation, or person, etc., then I will have spent the majority of my time feeling warm and fuzzy hope. Instead of the usual crappy-ass "oh well" gloom I have been so programmed to believe in, even before anything happens, which supposedly protects me from the Big Fall. Or maybe protects me from feeling stupid for believing something good could happen. But why stupid, and in front of whom?
If I can do this, believe this...thing, situation...can actually happen, then even if everything goes to hell in a furious ball of flames, I will still have enjoyed the majority of my conscious time on the way there.
I mean, if you're going to fall off the cliff, may as well have fun on the run up to the edge, right? And maybe you won't fall at all. Maybe you'll just leap through the air only to land lightly onto the next plateau.
Which brings to mind another of my sage's [old] sayings about me - "There she goes again, kicking and screaming her way from one plateau of joy to the next." That could really use a painting to go along with it, don't you think?
Today, I'm grateful for disappointment.
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