Dear Margaret

I try to picture myself in your shoes, opening this letter and wondering who would send such a thing, so many years later. But it's really not for me to guess or wonder. It's mine to simply do.

I worked for you a very long time ago. I don't know whether you remember me or not, but I was ####'s Marketing Assistant for the **** launch. I know I don't have a very clear memory of those days, and not just because they're so long ago, but because I was an active alcoholic and drug addict. I know that now.

I probably wasn't the easiest person to be around in those days, either professionally or socially, and for that I truly apologize. My memory may not always be that accurate, but what I do remember (in technicolor) is the incident that caused the end of our professional relationship: namely the night at The Saint, where I got drunk and spilled proprietary trade information (namely the formulation of ****) to the competition - to the person who, it turned out, was actually your sister. I then proceeded to break into your office later that night to place my resignation letter on your desk and drink all your scotch. After which I actually showed up for work, having been out all night, still drunk, to witness the after-effects of what I thought was utter genius: resigning before you could fire me.

I thoroughly regret this insane drama I created, its extremely unfortunate aftermath and the ill-will I caused. Although today I can say that it was the gyrations of an very active addict who regularly found herself committing major self-destructive acts - ones that often wobbled out and perpetrated havoc and destruction on the lives of others as well - I want you to know that I am not trying to use this as an excuse. Only an explanation.


I am not that person today, as I have been clean and sober since 1985, and have rigorously worked to change who I am and where my actions come from. That work includes admitting the wrongs I have done to others and taking direct responsibility for them. I totally screwed up our relationship and the launch of ****.

Again, I know it was a long time ago, but you are the one person I have not been able to find anywhere - rumors had it you moved to London, but I couldn't find you there either - and after attending a gathering last night where we were talking about finishing up our amends in alternative ways, I thought I would simply sit down and write you this letter.

I often wonder how you are and what you're up to, Margaret. We partied very hard, even ferociously, as I remember it. I do hope all has gone well for you. Honestly, if it has, I would have to suspect that you probably were fortunate enough to have found yourself on the same path as I.

Which would totally warm my heart.